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Holidays should be students fravourite weeks/days throughout those study period,at least i was jux like normal kids plan my timetable.1st day should have the CL Jouranlism course at Dunearn sec sch but is was cancel because early in the morning i wake up,i heard my bro saying that my grandpa passed away.At the moment i was shocked and my mind just suddenly flash through the past times.

Sometimes i really feel like dying as i think that there really no point for me to live on.
Many time i thinking of commit sucide but doesn't work!!And so i cut away those stupid ideas.

1st REASON of commit sucide is sec 2 my best frienz in sec sch passed away.
2nd Reason -sec 3 my fravourite uncle passed away
3rd Reason- sec 4 my grandpa passed away

Every year people 1 by 1 passed away and leave me alone here..How could they so cruel,my heart is torn into billion pieces , tears is like a dry well and my brain is like a timing bomb which can be bomb and break down my brain system.

1st day of funeral i when with my family before i when into the room i still in a stable state but after i when inside seeing my grandpa lying on the bed whithout breathing,my tears just rolls down my cheeks at the moment i feel so so lonely.Also i dunno why when i cried/angry/sad i just won't speak anything for few hours,quite wired isn't it?

2nd day i help to fold a lots of those ''yuan bao'' which is cash from the below world and i go back quite late,also on that days i get to talk to my dearest cousins which is fenghao , qingping , xiao hui ,bang xian etc...But I talk more to Fenghao and Qingping,they are my cousins but u do u believe we nv speak to each others for 9 years plus till this day we finally talk!!! I'm so gald that i finally have a cousin but nt a stranger.Maybe i chat too much with fenghao make others keep saying we are BGR and make me feel that his mum is spying me quite uncomfortable.(i think)

3rd , 4th and 5th day i nv went home i stay at there help them the paper thingy for the whole night whithout sleeping but 4 th night sleep around 30 mins as i have a real headche but everytime i get back home the first i wanted to do is to jump onto my bed and sleep but i didn't la of coz gt bath than dry hair tham sleep but this 3 days i very puntual no matter wad time i sleep in the morning when i come back
i will wake up at 3pm directly..

6th day gt priest come at 7pm keep on ''nian jin'' and kneel ,stand ,bow and more until 11plus even i want to go to my bishan ah ma that side also nt enough time haven sit down start le,wad the hell nt even lor until the whole thingy finsh i than get to makan.Ai yo sure fat la,Oh my god i dun wan gain weight!!!today which is morning of the next day(sunday) i reach home at 1.15amdbath and personal thing until 2am online check e-mail also post blog is darm tiring ltr at around 9plus mux wake up le today buried my dearest grandpa.Just hope i can tahan!

I shall stop here and sleep le,bye bye post next time~